About this episode
Listen in as five marriage blogger husbands tell us what men really think about their wives’ bodies.
Our episode features the following:
- Paul Byerly, The Generous Husband and The XY Code
- Scott Means, Heaven Made Marriage
- Brad Aldrich, One Flesh Marriage
- Tom Walter, The Romantic Vineyard
- Doug Taylor, Big Guy from The Forgiven Wife
After their conversation, Bonny, Gaye, J, and Chris chat about what the guys had to say.
Listen to the episode . . .
From the Bible
What does God have to say about a husband’s attraction to his wife?
You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. Song of Songs 4:7
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
Proverbs 5:18-19
Resources
- My Beloved Is Mine, The Most Beautiful Woman In The World
- My Beloved Is Mine, Revisiting the Most Beautiful Woman
- The Forgiven Wife, Body Image Got You Down?
- The Forgiven Wife, The Source of Your Beauty
- The Forgiven Wife, Beautiful
- The Forgiven Wife, A Wife’s Breasts Have History
- CalmHealthySexy, 5 Ways to Feel More Attractive
- CalmHealthySexy, Put Your Body to Work to Help You Feel More Attractive
- Bonny’s OysterBed7 (Guest posting at Hot, Holy, & Humorous), Permission to Feel Beautiful
- Bonny’s OysterBed7, Christian and Sexy
- Hot, Holy & Humorous, The Feel Beautiful Series (Start here)
Ladies, thank you so much for the mention in this episode – what a pleasant surprise!
This topic is definitely near and dear to my heart as a husband, and writing the “Most Beautiful Woman” post was me figuring out how to put those feelings into words for my wife’s benefit.
I very much enjoyed listening to Brad, Tom, Scott, Paul and Doug’s perspectives, and I couldn’t agree more with them! I recently wrote a follow up to “Most Beautiful Woman” called “Revisiting The Most Beautiful Woman” in which I too answered Chris’ question about seeing past our wife’s flaws. J, you mentioned blind spots, so I think you may find this article of particular interest.
If anyone is interested, you’ll find it on my blog.
Thanks very much for all you do for marriages. I appreciate each and every one of you!
The concept that struck me most was that my husband doesn’t see me as a collection of body parts, but as the whole person he married. That’s true! I know that’s what I see when I look at him, but I hadn’t ever thought that he was seeing me the same way. I’m enjoying hearing from the husbands.
As a husband I want to reply to (I believe it was) J’s comment about how it’s something we husbands in our (future) wives that attracted us to them—that caught our eyes.
While that is true, it’s not necessarily something that’s purely a physical attribute. For example, while I think my bride is jaw dropping my gorgeous to this day, what initially smote me was her cute effervescent personality and how she carried herself. There was a radiance from her that I just wanted to bask in. Plus she has eyes that, to this day, I want to dive in and see if I can find the bottom.
Am I visual like many other guys? Yes. But it was something more holistic and deeper that attracted me to my bride.
This is something that I, like many wives, struggle with. It was encouraging to hear the perspective of these husbands. However, that positive feeling didn’t last long. About 30 minutes after I listened to this episode, I lay down next to my husband (of nearly 2 years) and he wrapped his arm around my chest. He said, “One thing that surprised me when we got married was this large space between your chest. All the hot women on tv or whatever have cleavage closer together.” I’m sure he forgot, but I told him about a year ago that this particular area is something I am self-conscious about. I know he didn’t mean to tell me that I’m not attractive to him because I don’t look like those other women, but this statement shows that he does take notice of my “flaws.”
Oh, I just want to hug you right now! I can imagine how much that hurt. ~ J
However, I don’t know what your husband is like, but that’s just the kind of thing my husband (aka Spock) would say. I might still feel hurt, but 28 years later, I’d also tell him how that made me feel and ask follow-up questions. My guy likely had no idea how the comment would affect me and felt like he was just sharing an interesting thing he learned. Then he makes clear that the surprise was not a disappointment and reiterates how much he likes and enjoys my chest. Again, I don’t know your husband’s personality; all I’m saying is that the way a wife reads something and the way a husband meant it could be two different things. Maybe it’s time to have a conversation?