About this episode
We discuss listener questions:
- Does anyone really have sex like they do in the movies?
- Is role play okay in a Christian marriage, even if it involves imagining something that would be wrong to do in real life?
- How can an older couple maintain sexual intimacy?
- Is it sexual when my husband says he enjoys looking at other women’s feet?
Listen to the episode
From the Bible
They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green. Psalm 92:14
Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. Proverbs 5:18-19
Resources
Open Your Mind and Take Off Your Shoes – The Forgiven Wife
Sex in the Middle – The Forgiven Wife
Is Fantasy Okay in a Christian Marriage? – The Forgiven Wife
Taking Care of Your Health Can Help You Take Care of Your Sex Life – Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
Feet and Sex – Bonny’s OysterBed7
5-Star Sex (J guest posts at OysterBed7)
Morning in Autumn (Joan Reid’s blog for older women)
I was disappointed in your answer to the question of role playing between a married couple. You mentioned playing “Strangers Meeting.” I would assume in this role play, the “strangers” would end up having sex. Why would a married couple act out a sinful act? If you are trying to encourage Godly behavior, acting out sinful behavior should not be encouraged.
I understand that you all tried to convince the couple to look for other options, but in the end, no one said what it is……..sin.
The four of us don’t agree on all issues, and we don’t expect that our listeners will agree with everything we say, either. We want women to be prayerful with their husbands in determining what God wants for their marriage bed.
Cathy, I’m sorry our response was disappointing to you. I’m speaking here as myself, not for the others, since I think I was the lightest on the subject.
This is one of those areas where Christians are not all in agreement about whether this is sin. I’ve heard some very compelling arguments from folks who believe that it is not actually sin as long as they remember who they really are and that they are married to each other. This isn’t something that is part of my marriage, but I just asked my husband what he thought about whether it is sin. He said he sees it as comparable to an actor playing a character who murders someone. In other words, pretending to do sinful things in other situations is not typically viewed as sin, so pretending to do something sinful in the marriage bed doesn’t necessarily have be sinful, either.
I do think it is possible to incorporate this activity in a non-sinful way. Some of my blog readers have said that they pretend to be strangers up until the time they have sex. At that point, they drop their roles and become their real selves again. Is that sinful? My personal view is that it is not. Others would probably look at that and say it’s a loophole or that it’s wrong because they are getting aroused by a role rather than by their actual spouse.
Thank you for taking time to comment.
About a man being attracted to women’s feet, you realize that women purposefully try to be attractive with their feet, don’t you? Tell me, does a man try to do that?
Many women try to make their feet look pretty. That doesn’t necessarily mean they are trying to make them sexually attractive.
Chris, I know, but feet are often sexually attractive to men. The husband who’s checking out other women’s feet too much is probably deriving some sexual pleasure from them, I would say. But it’s also tough on men in general because women tease men, willingly or unwillingly, by painting their toes and wearing open-toed shoes, by painting their fingernails, by using lipstick, and so on. As a woman, you likely don’t understand visual temptation, or if you do, you likely don’t understand it the way most men do. I know I’m switching to a bigger issue now, but what if the Christian groups who say women shouldn’t be using makeup, etc. are making a good point? Why do women need to adorn themselves in so many ways that men do not?