About this episode
Talking to our kids about sex can be super uncomfortable. So how do we do it?
Sheila Gregoire from To Love, Honor, & Vacuum joins us for a conversation about how parents can feel confident talking with their children about puberty and sex. This episode is the first half of our conversation. The conclusion will be in our next episode.
Listen to the episode
From the Bible
What does God have to say?
Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy 11:18-19
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Song of Songs 8:4
Resources
Sheila has a new course to help you start conversations with your daughter about puberty, growing up, and sex. Visit The Whole Story. Use the coupon code sexchat to get $30 off the price of the VIP version of the course (and send us a commission, too!).
The Oh-My-Goodness-Did-I-Really-Sign-Up-for-This? Sex Talk – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Talking to Your Kids about Sex: No More One & Done – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Teach Your Kids the Correct Words for Body Parts – Hot, Holy & Humorous
Thanks ladies!
Nice to have Sheila visiting 🙂
I think you’ve all given some great advice and ideas, love the funny experiences too!
I’ve always gone with the plan of answering our kids’ questions honestly but age appropriately (trying my best to at least SEEM comfortable).
When my oldest (DD) was not quite 3yo she asked me “how” baby’s get out of their Mummies? I paused for a second, thinking how I wanted to be honest but also feeling strongly that she wasn’t ready for that knowledge (due to toileting issues) so I just said what came to mind which was “they usually come out head first, darling” – to my bewilderment (and relief) that satisfied her and she want off to play!
Then when she was about 3.5yo, my second (DS) was only 2yo and I was pregnant they asked “where” do babies come out? I was strongly opposed to the cop-out of “through the tummy/belly button” so I just said, matter-of-factly, “they come out through their mummies vagina” again, I was stunned at how they both weren’t phased or uncomfortable at all, my son just said “ok.” and then they asked me some other, totally unrelated, question… Probably something like “how are TV’s made?” 😛
After these two conversations something my Mum always told me finally sank in – that kids will absorb what they’re ready for and the rest won’t be a big issue if, using docernment, you’re honest and open with them… It then seemed clear to me that usually it’s us parents who make these questions a big deal, not our kids.
However, I also think it’s important to remember that sometimes, with some kids, you’ll have to be the one to start the conversation. My Mum, with all good intentions, aimed to always answer the questions we asked, the only problem was that I wasn’t the kind of kid to ask those questions… Understanding this I hope to avoid my kids being left to guess and worry due to being uninformed/clueless.
If I can offer a suggestion, as a home school Mum who loves biology/God’s designs…
I would recommend starting by teaching your kids basic anatomy:
Beginning when babies by using correct terms (by the way, I’ve noticed many people don’t know that the external of a female’s genitals are actually called the “vulva”! The vagina is internal. (Just FYI) 😉
**I was married 5years before I could say the word “vagina” out loud, in private, to my husband :-O
as it felt shameful after being a taboo word throughout my childhood.
Then by explaining waste product anatomy (bladder, urethra, bowles/intestines) and compartmentalising the vulva (vagina, urethra, labia/lips, even pubus).
Before moving towards reproductive anatomy (uterus, fallopian tunes, ova, sperm, periods, etc.) including conception (egg and sperm joining) and pregnancy/birth.
Before long you’ll be led straight into “well how exactly does the sperm get to the Egg?”
Warning – make sure to answer this (even of it’s not asked outright) before too long, as most kids will make assumptions if not supplied the correct answers.
One of my children guessed immediately after asking (before I had a chance to answer) and his guess was “it comes up through Daddy’s body and out his mouth when you do that sloppy kissing, doesn’t it!” 😀
He seemed proud of his theory and as cute/funny/wrong (and logical in his mind) as it was it definitely needed correction 😉
And last, but most definitely not least, pray about these conversations with your kids and also for their sexuality and future married life!!
Anyway, that’s my 2 cents… Ok maybe it was more like 2 dollars (if you’re still reading congratulations!) :-S
Thanks again ladies, I never tire of listening to your chats 🙂 xox
Thanks for taking the time to comment! You have some really good suggestions. The slopping kissing theory of sperm transmission is hysterical. So glad you love to listen to us. We love to chat! ~Chris
Both of the episodes on discussing sex with our kids taught me and my wife a lot and will help guide our approaches in the future.
Thank you so much!
I’ve enjoyed listening to your open honest sharing. Thanks for the encouragement on being real with our children.