About this episode
Out in theaters right now is Fifty Shades Darker, the second film based on Fifty Shades series. These novels have spurred a lot of conversation and questions about erotica. And we’re going to address that topic head-on.
1. Why do you think so many wives have been drawn to erotic romance stories? What about this genre appeals to them?
2. I’ve had wives tell me that reading these novels awakened their sexual desire. What’s wrong with that? Isn’t that ultimately good for the sexual intimacy in their marriage?
3. Some say that these erotic stories are no different from porn, and others say they’re no different from romance novels. What do you think about either or both of those charges? How are they the same or different?
4. Let’s get practical: What is okay and what’s not okay in the world of BDSM?
5. What are your own greatest concerns about the Fifty Shades phenomenon?
Listen to the episode
From the Bible
Galatians 5:22-23: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
Colossians 3:19: “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
1 Corinthians 10:23: “‘Everything is permissible,’ but not everything is helpful. ‘Everything is permissible,’ but not everything builds up.” (HSCB)
Resources
The Forgiven Wife: A Shaded View of Romance
The Forgiven Wife: Are Romance Novels Okay for Christian Women?
The Forgiven Wife: As Bad As Porn?
Authentic Intimacy: The Good News about Fifty Shades of Grey
OysterBed7: 50 Shades of Uncertainty?
OysterBed7: Libido Boundaries?
Hot Holy & Humorous: Why I Haven’t Talked about 50 Shades
Hot Holy & Humorous: Has the Mainstream Embraced BDSM? Should You?
Hot Holy & Humorous: Q&A with J: How about Bondage in the Bedroom?
I’m not defending pornography, but bottom line, it is pictures of naked people who don’t have any body parts that my wife and I don’t have.
But with a “book boyfriend”, there are no limits to the desirable traits that he can have. He can not only look any way you want him to look and behave like you want him to in bed. There is no limit to how rich and powerful he is, how much time he has available to spend with you, how good a father he would be, etc. etc.
Thanks for your podcasts. My wife and I have been listening to them as we travel.
We agree it is best if we only fantasize about the spouse we have in reality. Any ideal outside of reality can cause trouble. We appreciate your comment. Thanks for your support!!
The discussions surrounding these books have forced me to evaluate what is OK and not OK for me to read. I was already at the 50 shades is not OK but what about some of the not quite so erotic “steamy romance”. I normally try to avoid it but I’ve been making a bigger effort to err on the side of caution when I’m deciding which kindle freebies to read.